One of the virtually powerful accounts of Jesus' life in the Gospels is when He loses his dearest friend Lazarus. Fifty-fifty though Jesus knew Lazarus would dice, and He knew that Lazarus would exist resurrected, Jesus still wept at the loss of his friend (meet John eleven:32-36). Grief is unavoidable and provides a beautiful opportunity to show dear and back up to the grieving person.

Whether the person who is grieving is a friend, colleague, neighbor, or family unit member, you may struggle to know what to say to them, or how to aid. Sometimes, not knowing what to say or practice makes us avoid the grieving person. It may feel uncomfortable or bad-mannered to interact with a grieving person.

However, the Bible reminds united states to conduct 1 another's burdens and to exist there for each other (Galatians vi:ii). The grief journey is a significant time in someone'due south life when they need people to support them and provide honey, intendance, and encouragement. As a believer, when we speak to a grieving person, it is important to speak with honey, humility, and compassion. Below are some examples of what you can say to someone who is grieving.

What Can I Say to Someone Who Is Grieving?

It can be difficult to know what to say to someone who is grieving. But practise not permit that go along you from supporting a friend who has lost a loved one. What nosotros say to a grieving person is less important than our willingness to exist present with them. You can visit, sit in silence, and be available to help with a need that arises, such every bit preparing a meal, babysitting, or driving them to an appointment. Although there is no "i size fits all" affair to say, here are some helpful things yous can say to a grieving friend.

How are you lot managing?

This is a great question to use when you want to check in with the person in a fashion that invites a conversation. This question will non result in a 1-give-and-take answer, but rather will give the grieving person a risk to share as you listen.

What mean solar day can I come over to help, run an errand, or bring a meal?

Instead of putting the responsibility on the grieving person to ask for help, this question lets them know yous are ready and available to aid. Be prepared to compare schedules and have some openings in your calendar.

I don't understand why you lost your loved i. I am praying for you and request God to bring you comfort and peace.

The reality is that we could never know why their loved one died, and it can be helpful for them to hear you acknowledge that truth. This statement also encourages them to lean on God for comfort and reminds them that God is there for them, too.

Have your time. I am here.

Often, grieving people feel rushed by family and friends to get over their grief and move on. Saying this volition let the grieving person know you understand, are not forcing them to "get over information technology," and volition proceed to be at that place for them.

I tin only imagine how painful it is to have lost your loved one.

This argument acknowledges their hurting, is a gentle style to bring up the loss, and relays your concern and intendance for them.

How can I pray for you today?

Information technology can be a condolement for most people to know they are being prayed for. This question gives them an opportunity to share how they are feeling, what they are going through, and their specific prayer needs.

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What Does the Bible Say about Grief and Being Comforted?

In that location are enough of Scripture verses and passages that bring comfort and hope. The Bible affirms the hurting of loss, the need to grieve, and the faithfulness of the Lord to provide comfort to those who are grieving. When we are facing grief, Scripture reassures us that nosotros are non alone. Hither are eight verses virtually grief and condolement.

"A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance" (Ecclesiastes 3:iv).

"The Lord is close to the crestfallen and saves those who are crushed in spirit" (Psalm 34:eighteen).

"My flesh and my heart may neglect, but God is the strength of my middle and my portion forever" (Psalm 73:26).

"I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live" (Psalm 116:1-2).

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds" (Psalm 147:3).

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they volition exist comforted" (Matthew 5:four).

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Male parent of pity and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that nosotros can comfort those in any trouble with the condolement we ourselves receive from God" (one Corinthians 1:3-4).

"He volition wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more decease, or mourning, or crying, or hurting, for the old order of things has passed abroad" (Revelation 21:4).

Is Grief But the Loss of Life?

Grief is experienced past those who accept lost a loved one, but people may grieve other losses, as well. The loss of a pet, the loss of a human relationship, or the loss of a job may be other things that people grieve. Each loss is unlike and results in a unique grief journey. In fact, no two people grieve exactly the aforementioned way. For example, married people volition grieve differently than one another, or even siblings raised in the same abode will grieve differently. People grieve in singled-out means due to personality, coping skills, life experiences, and a variety of other issues related to the loss.

You can support someone past allowing them to grieve, accepting their emotions, and taking the fourth dimension to educate yourself most healthy grief. Regardless of the loss, we can help our friends while they grieve by acknowledging their loss, rather than minimizing or dismissing it. We can assist them by giving them permission to grieve instead of rushing them to feel better.

Another important way to offer care to those who are grieving is to check in on them by calling, sending a card or flowers, or planning a visit. Each loss is unique and may result in different needs. It is helpful if you bring upwards the loss, even if it makes you lot a little uncomfortable, rather than ignoring it or acting like it never happened. You may want to inquire how they are managing, how you can pray for them, or what you tin do to exist of support. Inquire God in prayer how you can show this person love, compassion, and back up. The Holy Spirit will directly your path and give you the right words in the moment.

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What Should Nosotros Not Say to Someone Grieving?

With a desire to say the right thing, or not knowing what to say, sometimes, people mistakenly say the wrong thing to a grieving person. Hither are statements to generally avoid when spending fourth dimension with a grieving person.

They're in heaven, so yous exercise not have to be deplorable that they are gone.

Even if the person who passed away was a Christian, their family and friends are still going to grieve their expiry and experience the sorrow that they are no longer present on earth. Saying a statement like this diminishes the hurting the grieving person is feeling and can make them experience that they do not have a correct to grieve.

I'm surprised y'all are still sad about losing your loved one because it'south been so long. I do not feel as pitiful anymore.

Grief is dissimilar for everyone and there is no timetable for how long someone volition grieve. No ane gets over the death of a loved i, they simply learn how to alive without that person. Though the pain may not feel as intense, the loss is still felt, fifty-fifty years and decades subsequently the expiry. Fifty-fifty if you are not feeling the intense pain of the loss anymore, that does not mean your grieving friend is in the aforementioned place. Requite a grieving person permission to grieve however long they demand.

You need to exist strong for those around yous/for the kids/etc. or Yous are and so strong!

Most grieving people feel the pressure to be strong and non allow themselves be sad, or weep, or get angry well-nigh losing their loved ane. A argument like this reinforces the guilt and force per unit area the grieving person may feel. People are weak, but God is strong to become united states through whatever trial we endure.

I know just how you lot are feeling.

Fifty-fifty if you have had a similar loss, the truth is that no 2 people grieve the same way, and it is incommunicable for anyone to know how someone else feels when they are grieving. This statement belittles how the grieving person is feeling, takes away from their unique loss, and ends upwards not beingness helpful to them.

Information technology is a good thing they are no longer suffering.

Although it is a good affair their loved one is no longer suffering, it does not make their death any easier to cope with. If the grieving person expresses this sentiment, then you know information technology is a helpful statement for them. Nevertheless, many grieving people do non discover condolement in this statement. Instead heed and let the grieving person take the lead and help you understand their thoughts and feelings.

A Prayer for Your Grieving Friend

Gracious and Loving Father,

I pray for my friend who is grieving the loss of their loved one. You know the intimate details of how securely they are hurting, how painful the sorrow is, and what they demand each day. I ask that you bring them comfort and forcefulness, fulfilling the promise that yous are well-nigh to the brokenhearted. Environs them, oh Lord, with a community of people who will show them honey, compassion, and care. I ask that yous would help them in their darkest moments to cling to y'all. Aid them to depict near to you as they are grieving. I ask that they volition find hope and healing in the coming months and years. Lord, keep watch over them and their family who are grieving.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.

When you spend time with a grieving person, do not be afraid to speak lovingly and compassionately to them. The about helpful thing yous can do is to listen. Allow them tell their story, share about the loss, and how they are feeling. Your compassion, presence, and listening ear will be instrumental in helping them feel heard, loved, and less lonely. One of the most of import things nosotros can do for a grieving person is to pray for them. Proceed them in your daily prayers and proceed to maintain contact with them.

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Pamela Palmer  is a writer, chaplain, and the founder of upheldlife.com, the platform on which she produces weekly devotionals and faith resources articles to inspire keeping faith at the center of information technology all. She lives and thrives on Jesus, coffee, and music. She is in pastoral ministry and gets to share in the emotional and spiritual lives of many people, being a small-scale piece of each journey. Pamela married the perfect man for her and they have 2 beautiful kiddos. She has been published on herviewfromhome.com and yous can follow her at upheldlife.com, or on Facebook.com/upheldlife.